Book Review: I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy
In a sea of celebrity memoirs, the iCarly actress’ collection of emotionally jarring vignettes stand out above and beyond the rest
There’s not much that can be said about this book that hasn’t already been written and spoken about since its release in August 2022. So why am I, in 2024, writing a review of this memoir?
As a child, I was an avid reader, always bringing a book along with me everywhere and whipping it open the first chance I got.
I’d hide under tables, in the bedrooms or store rooms of people’s homes my parents were visiting, under the stairs – you name it, I’ve hid there – just to read.
To get me to socialise more, my mom would “keep your book safe in my handbag, okay?” only to not give it to me when I wanted to hide and read.
She’d nudge me to mingle with cousins, the other kids, whomever close to my age who were around to get me to make friends.
Being the rebel I am, I’d find the house owner’s stash of books, pick one, hide, and read until my mom found me.
She never kept my book safe in her handbag again.
There’ve been tons of good books over the decades, even more okay ones, and plenty of shitty ones.
I’m Glad My Mom Died is one of the best in the genre I’ve read in… ever.
Jennette McCurdy candidly reveals 91 vignettes (and a prologue) of her life over the course of two decades, predominantly focusing on her turbulent relationship with her mother, her body and her career.
The book is split into two parts: ‘Before’ and ‘After’. ‘Before’ starts at age 6 up to her mom’s death, and ‘After’ chronicles her downward spiral figuring out how – for the first time in her life at age 21 – to live her life on her own.
In the early chapters, her voice is akin to her 6-year-old self. As she grows up, the narrative grows with her.
Reading the perspective of a child who is mentally, emotionally and physically abused and manipulated and gaslit by her own mother is jarring.
McCurdy does not give us a break or room to breathe between chapters either. Each is short but shocking in their own twisted way.
From child abuse to eating disorders, gaslighting to harassment, each chapter’s horrors compounds onto the next.
This book is not an easy read; don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.
She’s surrounded by people, family and professionals, who rely on her to be the breadwinner of the family and fawn over her acting prowess throughout her childhood, yet within each of these chapters, she subtly – very subtly – weaves in her aching and longing to be loved.
Loved by her mom. Her dad. Her grandpa. Someone. Anyone.
In the midst of the ‘After’ chapters, McCurdy becomes horrid. She’s hateful and judgmental. Everyone easily annoys her, and she’s constantly irritated.
It seems like the hate she feels for herself is so overwhelming, it taints her view of everyone and everything. The seed of hate and mistrust planted by her mother starts to bloom.
It’s easy to pity her at this juncture, but don’t.
Instead, be inspired.
Sure, she only started therapy because her boyfriend threatened to break up with her if she didn’t and quits when it gets hard, spiraling back to old habits.
But she gets back up and does it again. This time, for herself.
So often we see child stars burning bright before burning out. This is why McCurdy’s story inspires.
She doesn’t make a big deal about doing the right thing, she just does it.
She chooses to be better and strives to unlearn decades of brainwashing and manipulation.
She chooses herself.
Finally.
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